Anorexia

100cm to 70cm acrylic painting on canvas. I painted this painting when i was 14 years old and was a successfull student who was about to enter a national exam to choose our high schools. I was anorexic and was 35 kg only . My teacher in my art class told me to draw a clown for the school gallery and i painted my clown. After painti g it, i realized the clown was me. I was being controlled by a severe mental illness which is anorexia. I was hopeless and full of fear like the clown. I wused to find every celebration cake amd present disgusting, like they were rotten. My life was still going on without my realization and that life is symbolized with the clown's bike. Everything around me was dirty to me. Every food was rotten every present was something i don't deserve and i dont want. I was weak, i didnt have flesh to fill my clothes like the clown and i was also weak inside. Finally i was trying to put a happy face, like a clown makeup. I was trying to live like everything is normal